Eight Reasons to Take a Break From Illness Support Groups
by Lisa Copen
Upon the diagnosis of an illness everyone, including your doctor, likely tells you to go to a support group. Research has shown that support groups can be extremely helpful in how one copes with disease. And yet, not everyone finds a group to be the answer to the kind of support for which they are searching. Like any kind of group, there are some support groups you will "click" with and others you will not. So don't rule out all support groups just because one doesn't seem like a good fit.
But is a support group really necessary right now? Whether you are looking for a amyloidosis support group in New York City or an Aspberger’ s support group in Dallas, the real question may be, is this a season in your life when you need the support that a small group offers? Just as changes occur while we living with illness for decades there are seasons in our life when an illness support group may be where we find our very best friends; Other times it may feel like we have no desire, or even need, to attend.
Below are eight tips to help you decide if a support group is something you may not even need right now:
1. You are coping well with the day-to-day aspects of living with illness. You don't think about your illness non-stop because you're simply too busy living life.
2. You have a solid group of people who are a good influence. Friends or family members are supportive in your efforts to live your best life possible despite having an illness.
3. You don't experience feelings of anger, bitterness or resentment towards healthy people -- at least on a regular basis. You can have relationships with people with comparison of your abilities (or lack of) ever entering your thoughts.
4. You easily carry on conversations with people without ever bringing up the topic of your illness. You don't believe that your illness is such a fundamental part of who you are that it's necessary to describe your medical challenges to total strangers.
5. You don't watch others with envy. You feel you have overcome any annoyances you may have previously felt toward people who have their health, but who do not seem to be appreciating it.
6. You have found that when you sit around at support group meetings talking about the highs and lows of living with illness, you rarely leave the meeting feel better. The support group you are in is more depressing than refreshing and talking about your illness doesn't seem to be helpful.
7. You are able to be a good advocate for your well-being. When you need information on symptoms or tips about living with your illness, you are equipped to find the information.
8. You have found at least one dear friend who lives with illness. Being able to talk openly with a good friend who has a realistic idea of what you are coping with can be extremely helpful in your daily living skills. You have the chance to vent or contribute ideas with another person who understands the details and "language" of illness.
If some of the examples above sounded like a description of where you are at with support groups, it's likely you don't really need a support group right now in order to live emotionally healthy with a chronic illness. However, you may be surprised to find that you could be an excellent leader of an illness support group. All of the statements above can be an easy way to create a proposal for starting up a support group.
The best support groups are often led by people who have overcome the daily frustrations and bitterness that accompany illness during the first years of diagnosis. The fact that you are past the initial rollercoaster of emotions would greatly benefit a group of people still struggling with them.
If you feel leading a support group is not your calling then go enjoy other things you are passionate about. Remember, there are friends in wonderful support groups who will be there when you need them.
Lisa Copen was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis at the age of 24. She is the founder of Rest Ministries, an online support group for chronically ill people.
www.restministries.org
