Is There a Doctor in the House?

by Donna Reagan

Gosh, I sure miss the good ol’ days when it was quite commonplace for doctors to actually come TO the sick – instead of the ridiculous requirement that we have today. Granted, I’m much too young to have experienced such a wonderful phenomenon, but I watch movies. I know what I’m missing.

These days, the only time you really hear someone ask, “Is there a doctor in the house?” is during some TV show or movie when a character is choking on something bizarre like an engagement ring, Jello, or a chicken leg; and frantic restaurant patrons want someone that knows the Heimlich maneuver.

Speaking of choking on chicken legs…once when I was younger, braver, and probably more stupid, I had to save my Dalmation that started choking on a chicken leg. Naturally I did not know how to Heimlich a dog – so I had to shove my hand in his mouth & my fingers down his throat to retrieve the bone. It was scary and gross; but I was a dog hero. (And that my friends, is what we call a little rabbit trail even though I was talking about my dog.)

But back to the subject of doctors…. I think it’s ridiculous that sick people, namely me, must drag their bodies out of their bed, and drive TO the physician that has vowed to “First do no harm”. I think this practice is highly ironic because I feel rather harmed when I have to shower, dress appropriately, and then drive my weary, chronically sick body & highly distracted mind which is trying to block out various pain signals so that I can appear at a professional office building where I will wait – in PUBLIC – for an unknown amount of time before getting my few allotted minutes of medical attention.

I find this practice to be so absurd because many times I feel more like I should be alerting the undertaker instead. Undertakers make house calls…yes? I personally think the American medical system started soaring downhill when it seems the focus switched from a quality of care to a quantity of care. I suspect one of the main reasons why doctors needed to increase the number of patients served daily is most likely a complicated equation consisting of financial factors, because let’s face it – money seems to be the root cause to many of the world’s problems.

Logically, I DO understand the financial needs and various pressures being put upon our medical professionals; I DO understand that it is not ‘cost efficient’ for physicians to make house calls. Emotionally, however, I do NOT understand it. It seems like our health care system is backwards as to how it should be. Yes, I think I could solve many of the world’s problems and most certainly help out with health care reform – if only I was healthy and had the energy…and more intelligence. Yes, I could solve many problems with health, energy, and intelligence.

Alas, the doctor that makes house calls is now a distant memory, and the more common question is:

Is there a doctor in my network?

This is a rather stupid question because OF COURSE there are MANY doctors “in network”, otherwise it couldn’t be called a network. The more appropriate question is: “Is there a doctor in my network…that knows diddly squat?”

Do those ‘in network’ doctors make it their top priority to serve ALL of my medical needs …or to serve their bottom line? Do they work for ME…or the health insurance company that wants to ignore or deny payment on any condition that requires expensive treatment? I was once told by a physician that most doctors could only spend an average of 8 minutes per patient in order to treat the quantity of patients needed to come out ahead at the end of the day. Doctors are generally good in math & they realize they have to pay their bills. From that perspective it is certainly understandable that doctors don’t have the time to sit & hold the hands of those in need of their sharp diagnostic skills in order to gain an accurate diagnosis, treatment plan, or perhaps even a cure.

From the perspective of a patient, however, I must say I do NOT understand. I am not just a social security number attached to a particular health care plan. Eight minutes to address my needs? Please!

After 20 years or more of receiving those 8 minute medical segments, I finally found an out-ofnetwork physicians that actually spent over 90 minutes with me, evaluated my entire medical history and actually utilized his diagnostic skills, and then took enough blood-work to fill up a new human being to verify my long-awaited diagnosis.

I have tertiary Borrelia Burgdorferi, which is commonly referred to as chronic, late-stage Lyme disease, and is far more common than most realize. In fact, you could have it too, and not even know it. In addition, I also have what is referred to as co-infections: Babesisosis, and Bartonella – which I just call Babs & Bart because I’m tired and every syllable counts. Now that I have ample diagnoses, I await a cure…

A cure! I almost say that in jest because let’s be honest - when was the last time a disease was cured? Think hard. I actually know this answer, but it is locked away in a secret section of my brain for which I do not currently have access thanks to the Borrelia spirochetes swimming through my brain tissue. But frankly -- how would it benefit physicians and Big Pharma if diseases were actually….cured? A cure would seem like a bad business decision. And even if someone came up with one, I’d be willing to bet my insurance company, also a big business, would not want to fork over the bucks to pay for it.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not completely jaded….yet. I do still choose to believe there are a select number of physicians out in the world that actually treat patients first and foremost because of their love of their profession and their desire to care for the sick. Many of those doctors, I am discovering, are quite often “out of network”. In order for a doctor to have the freedom to treat patients in the manner they deem best – many doctors must remove themselves from underneath the strict thumbs that keep them pinned to limited time & attention for individual patients.

For many patients, seeking care ‘out of network’ is not a possibility. They are therefore at the mercy of their primary care physicians or the specialist to whom they have been ‘turfed’. (FYI – “turfed” is a fancy medical term I learned from watching years of E.R. episodes. In fact I learned quite a bit of medical terminology, such as “tension pneumothorax”, “ventricular septal rupture” and “thoracotomy”. In truth, I do not actually know the meaning of these words; however, this does not stop me from working them into conversation when I am around dumb people – as it makes me feel even more intelligent, as in: “Too bad we don’t have a thoracotomy tray handy, I could probably fix that for you.” See? How smart does that sound?)

With regards to dealing with ‘out of network’ physicians - those fortunate individuals who can afford such medical care …please dump the contents of your purse or wallet at the receptionist’s window – as many of these ‘out of network’ physicians do not want to even be bothered with filing insurance, and many are quite proud of their services. In the simplicity that is my mind, I think if I’m going to pay out the wazoo, and do all the paperwork, then perhaps we could do a little negotiating and once in a while, when I’m just too tired to crawl out of my sick bed….they could make a house call!!

I don’t think that’s too much to expect, do you? Of course, I cannot cope with the thought of anyone coming into my home while I am that sick and miserable and obviously unable to keep the general clutter and dust volume to a level that does not suggest a Hazmat suit is necessary attire. I realize I would drag my body from my sick bed to attempt to tidy up. So –nevermind. But even with all the doctors in the state of Texas whom have decided they no longer want to be in anyone’s network….I still find myself asking: “Is there a doctor in the state…???”

Chronically ill patients need a doctor in the state of Texas that can actually help them. Thanks to the Texas State Medical Review Board now breathing down the necks of practitioners whom are dedicated to treating chronic cases of Lyme disease – a disease which often disables patients, thereby upsetting some kind of critical state health statistics – Lyme practitioners must either treat patients “under their radar” or treat less aggressively for fear that doing right by the patient will call attention to themselves and they will be called before the Texas State Medical Review Board which clearly has an anti-Lyme disease agenda.

So what’s a patient diagnosed with Lyme disease to do? Leave the state? Yes, not only are some of the sickest, most miserable patients required to drag their weary chronically ill bodies from their bed to see a physician – they are now finding themselves having to drive or fly to other states where a Lyme-literate physician is willing to treat them appropriately. How absurd is that?

Again – where does the “first do no harm” oath come into play for Lyme disease patients? When will the sanctity of human life return to its place of importance – ABOVE the bottom line and the political agendas?

Back in the good ol’ days when doctors would make house calls, they would often give the patient a full exam, followed by a shot of penicillin and the recommendation that the patient receive an enema.

I’ve had my fair share of enemas. Perhaps those insurance company policy-makers, and those individuals sitting on the Texas State Medical Review Board should get their fair share of enemas too – because frankly, I think they are “full of it”!