by Dawn Irons, Editor

I can’t tell you the number of times I have heard this well meaning sentiment, “You don’t look sick!”

It used to frustrate me. Now, I have learned to look on the bright side…you know, when you look out the window and realize it is only a tornado, not an F-5 hurricane like Katrina that is beating down your door! I am learning to find joy in the fact it is only a tornado.

The fact that I don’t look sick comforts me greatly! Imagine if I looked like what my body was physically feeling. On second thought, don’t…that’s not uplifting when I really think about the pain. I shall simply rejoice in the fact I don’t look as bad as I feel!

As I write this article, I have a very heavy heart. In the last month, two Lyme patients in our DFW Metroplex passed away. Much like AIDS, you will not see “Lyme disease” as the cause of death on their death certificates. Lyme and AIDS both systematically destroy one’s immune system to the point that body’s defense system is so suppressed that the common cold can bring the final blow of death. And when that happens, it is the wimpy opportunistic infection that gets to take the credit for the cause of death.

Every time the official cause of death is listed as “organ failure”, or “pneumonia”, or some other symptom rather than the overall condition such as AIDS or Lyme disease, we lose the ability to really put a face on the disease and raise public awareness that these conditions are ruthless killers.

It all the more maddening that Lyme disease is so very treatable if caught early. The war that is raging on the issue of “standard of care” is disheartening when people are dying for lack of proper diagnosing and treatment of the disease. The leading “standard of care” is being investigated by the Connecticut Attorney General’s office for violations of anti-trust laws—meaning they are being investigated for trying to monopolize one way to treat the disease; effectively shutting out any competitive theory as being a viable option as they laugh all the way to the bank with fat wallets….but I digress!

When I first met my friend Gay, we sat in a coffee shop in Fort Worth and spoke about both of our recent Lyme diagnoses. She shared how she had been battling health issues for years. She told me of how she had been misdiagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, and had also been diagnosed with ALS. As she continued getting worse, they also discovered the borrelia spirochetes in her system and was given a Lyme diagnosis. She was an amazing person, full of spunk, faith and hope. When I first started the PHA newspaper, Gay was one of my first financial supporters to help get the premier issue off the ground.

To look at Gay, and her infectious smile, you would never know she was as gravely ill as she was. She didn’t LOOK sick! She had the radiance and glow of Miss America! It was only her limp and walking cane that clued you in that there was something not quite right. She looked wonderful!

I saw her at one of the support group meetings and she had mentioned that her walking was getting more and more difficult. Later she had emailed me that she had been resigned to a wheel chair…all the while she never looked sick. Looks are deceiving. I never saw Gay again. I remember the last time I saw her. She was sharing with me how much she loved her husband and children. She shared how her children’s friends would call her mom…and there were always extra kids around the house. She absolutely loved being the neighborhood “Mom”. She told me how she loved her Christian family at the Cowboy Church. She was so very much alive! One would never know by looking at her that she was so very, very sick.

Maybe next time we encounter someone, like ourselves, who is battling a chronic illness, we can give them a word of encouragement that only someone who has walked in their shoes can truly understand. Next time, I see my friend Donna, who also suffers from Lyme, I think I will give her a big hug and tell her, “Your beauty disguises the battle I know you fight daily. I know the pain you struggle with, though others cannot see. I am encouraged to see you keep fighting. It blesses me to know someone so strong and courageous.”

I just know in my heart that it would mean so much more to her than one more person telling her , “Well, you LOOK good!” …and then dismiss the daily battle as if there is no real battle at all. Yes, looks are deceiving.

I never saw Gay again. I remember the last time I saw her. She was sharing with me how much she loved her husband and children. She shared how her children's friends would call her mom…and there were always extra kids around the house. She absolutely loved being the neighborhood "Mom". She told me how she loved her Christian family at the Cowboy Church. She was so very much alive! One would never know by looking at her that she was so very, very sick.

Maybe next time we encounter someone, like ourselves, who is battling a chronic illness, we can give them a word of encouragement that only someone who has walked in their shoes can truly understand. Next time, I see my friend Donna, who also suffers from Lyme, I think I will give her a big hug and tell her, "Your beauty disguises the battle I know you fight daily. I know the pain you struggle with, though others cannot see. I am encouraged to see you keep fighting. It blesses me to know someone so strong and courageous as you."

I just know in my heart that it would mean so much more to her than one more person telling her , "Well, you LOOK good!" …and then dismiss the daily battle as if there is no real battle at all. Yes, looks are deceiving.