Shattered Dreams?
by Linnette R. Mullin
"Keep your chin up! Don't let your illness get you down."
"Push yourself. Work through the pain. It will make you stronger."
"How do you keep from killing yourself?"
"Things have to get done regardless of how you feel. Be responsible and just do it. Don't be lazy."
"God can heal you. You just need to have enough faith."
"Moms can't get sick."
"Get over it, already!"
I'm sure you've heard at least one of these or similar statements since you've become chronically ill. Unfair as they are, there is no avoiding them. As if our dreams weren't shattered enough, statements such as these can send us into a tail-spin.
So how do we respond?
Some choose the positive-thinking path. They decide to live life to the fullest in spite of their circumstances and keep a positive attitude (paying the consequences in private). True happiness, however, cannot be manufactured and I'm sure that many of the "happy" types experience plenty of their own down times…moments when they want to give up and give into the pain, agony, and the limitations created by their illness.
Then, there are those who are "oh, woe is me" and can never seem to lift their heads and be thankful for the good moments. No matter how awful life may be for them, I dare say they do experience good moments…moments in which they get a bit of reprieve from intense pain, moments when they get a touch of the rest they need, moments that would make them smile or laugh if they would but recognize them.
Do you fall into one of these categories? Or, maybe you bounce between the two like me. Dealing with chronic illness is like living on an endless emotional rollercoaster.
What is the answer to our dilemma? How do we cope? How do we motivate ourselves to keep going? What is it that makes us want to live, to pick ourselves up when we hit those inevitable emotional drops?
What is the correct response to our illness, others' responses, and our own shattered dreams?
In "The God Of All Comfort" devotional book for the chronically ill, Judy Gann answers these questions with sympathy:
"Chronic illness smashes schedules - and dreams. From an outing with a friend to a ministry opportunity in China, plans shatter as our rebellious bodies follow their own agendas.
"We may reach a point where we refuse to make plans or even dare to dream. Why bother making plans? I'll probably get sick and have to cancel them. The sting of disappointment chips away our fragile hope.
"Yet, our hope is not in our dreams or in our plans for the future, but in the Lord. He who knows the end from the beginning is in control and has a purpose far beyond what we can see with our nearsighted vision. The Lord's work in our lives is greater than our dreams.
"The Lord is with us as we stand with the pieces of our crumbled dreams scattered about us. As we surrender our dreams and hopes to him, he specializes in fashioning new dreams out of broken ones, in forging something new out of the splintered pieces of our lives." (Go to www.JudyGann .com for book information.)
"Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand." Proverbs 19:21 (ESV)
I admit that sometimes I huff and puff over this verse - usually when there's something I feel I just have to do or something I really want to do. But, most of the time it brings me comfort. As Judy pointed out, it's comforting to know that while my body, my circumstances, my life are often out of my control, they are never out of God's control and He works out His purpose through it all. In fact, this knowledge gives the strength and fortitude to persevere when life seems impossible.
My sixteen-year-old son struggles in his dreams for the future. But God has blessed him with incredible insight. Returning home from our latest Lyme check, he said, "One good thing about the Lyme is that it makes me depend more on God instead of depending on my own strength." He's right on! God is our strength, as well as our sanity. Without Him, all hope would be false if not non-existent.
So, what are your dreams made of? Are your desires God's desire?
One Sunday my pastor spoke God's answer to my questions of His will for me. He said, "God's will for you is to obey Him." Such a simple statement, yet I found it profound. It isn't a question of whether or not to become a missionary, or sing in the choir, or teach a children's class, or any other ministry. It's a matter of staying in tune with God and obeying His word. The first step in obedience being love for God and faith in Christ alone:
"Jesus answered…And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength…" Mark 12:29-30
(ESV)
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5 (ESV)
"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1
(ESV)
Faith in God Himself - in who He is - is the only life-giving, hope-fulfilling, dream-making, prayer-answering faith that exists. We are to love God - the Lord Jesus Christ - and trust Him with everything that is in us. Who better to trust than the one who knows all about us - our plans, our hopes, our dreams?
This past November, I wanted to attend my local writer's conference. It's intense and I didn't know if I would be up to it. I sent in my registration and money, hoping that I would not be disappointed. Not only did God allowe me to go, but He blessed my body with the extra energy and stamina I needed to get the most benefit out of the conference. I was so thankful!
Then, New Year's Eve I wanted to attend a gathering for our church at a member's house. I hadn't been able to go for the last several years. Somebody always became ill. Sure enough, my little one came down with one of his Lyme-induced fevers the night before and I couldn't go. I have no idea why God didn't time the fever to come afterward and I was very disappointed. But, I have to submit to His providence and trust that He knows what is best for me, my son, and others affected by the situation.
While one of the hardest things we have to do, trusting God with our hopes, plans, and dreams provides the peace, comfort, and strength we need to persevere through the toughest and most disappointing moments in our lives.
Where is your hope? Where is your faith? Have you lain your shattered dreams at the Savior's feet?
~Linnette R Mullin
www.LinnetteMullin.com
Linnette_PHA@Yahoo.com
